MUX News and Rumors (2009)
Anonymous News and Rumors from the MUX August Aug 22 - Farm Seizure Thwarted in Zimbabwe HARARE -- President Robert Mugabe's ZANU-PF organisation continues to utilise troops to force farm owners from their land. Since 2000, white and black landowners alike have been evicted from their homes, often under threat of violence. The Henderson family of Chegutu is one of the many who have received threats to get off their land. However the Hendersons had an advantage their neighbours did not in the form of a private security force. "The family back in Bruges had begged us to come back," said Mr Henderson, "saying, 'it's too dangerous there', and all. But we can't leave here: it's our home." The Hendersons are third-generation Zimbabweans. The family first came to Zimbabwe when it was still called Rhodesia, during the early 1960s. The Hendersons hired the security force in part with money received from their family in Europe. "'If you won't leave there,' my uncle told me, 'at least get yourself some protection.'," said Henderson. He was put in touch with the group and arranged to have them defend his farmhouse and the nearest lands which were not already claimed by squatters. The security soldiers, reports Henderson, are professional and inobtrusive. "I barely know they're there most of the time. But when the troops come to evict us, they're there." The black-clad soldiers could be seen standing near the farmhouse's entrances, sporting AK-47s or French FAMAS machineguns. Aug 28 - Decepticon Activity Increasing CNN - Numerous sightings have been reported of Decepticons arriving at points all over the globe. Reports of Decepticons setting up equipment at locations such as Yellowstone National Park, Hawaii's volcanoes, and the San Andreas fault are pouring in. At present they have taken no aggressive action, but such a massive buildup of their forces on such a global scale has caused several countries, including the United States, to place their military forces on alert. More on the situation as it develops. Aug 29 - Global Catastrophe Continues CNN - Numerous areas across the globe have been reporting of violent earthquakes and volcanic eruptions continuing as a result of the Decepticon's current activity. Reports of a battle last night between Autobot and Decepticon forces say that the Decepticons were drawing energy from Old Faithful, which is now erupting with increased frequency. That battle ended in a Decepticon retreat, but with such a world wide affect, groups are still active across the globe. Scientists indicate that if the eruptions do not stop, the Earth may be looking at a second ice age as the sun is blotted out. Already scientists from across the globe are gathering to attempt to combat this menace to humanity. Aug 30 - Global Catastrophe Continues As we enter the third day of the global catastrophe, the situation continues to worsen. Volcanoes long dormant have restarted, threatening towns and villages built without fear of an eruption. Earthquakes have caused heavy damage to many cities near fault lines, especially in California, where the San Andreas is producing the most violent earthquakes ever recorded. Meanwhile, the Decepticons continue to take advantage of this catastrophe as they collect energon cubes from all of the sites of activity. Many militaries have attempted to drive them off with limited success. In other news, scientists believe it may yet be possible to stop this catastrophe if it can be found how the Decepticons are controlling the planet's tectonics. As always we will keep the world apprised of this situation as it continues. Sep 2 - Mars Orbiter Lost CNN - Earlier today, NASA lost contact with the Mars Reconaissance Orbiter. Attempts to re-establish contact with the orbiter have to date been fruitless. According to NASA sources, the orbiter had detected signs of activity on the planet, and had also detected something rising from the surface prior to its destruction. Space monitoring stations have subsequently detected an object on an apparent course to earth from Mars. To head off any potential rumors of invasion by Martians, NASA sources provided decades of evidence to the contrary. There have been some reports that Autobots and Decepticons fought a pitched battle on Mars within the past year, leading to some to speculate that the object may be Cybertronian in origin, but they are not making any definite conclusions. NASA continues to track the incoming object and we will keep you apprised as this situation develops. Sep 9 - Cobra Sighted in Vegas CNN has reported that a Cobra VECTOR was spotted destroying a cellphone tower on top of one of the casinos in downtown las vegas. Local GI Joe forces quickly responded and attempted to negotiate when more cobras showed up. After the discussion broke down, a gunfight erupted as the VECTOR finally left, and one GI Joe was reported wounded when Cobra finally withdrew. and this... is CNN Sep 15 - Dunham Extends Embargo Washington - US President Hussein Dunham on Monday signed an order extending the US trade embargo on Cobra Island for one year. "The president has determined that it is in the national interest of the United States to continue for one year the exercise of certain authorities under the Trading With the Enemy Act with respect to Cobra Island," the White House said, according to Reuters. Dunham has sought to reach out to Cobra Island, by easing travel and financial restrictions on Americans with family on the dictator-ruled island. The Helms-Burton law, passed in 1996, requires Congress to take action specifically ending the embargo, reports the Associated Press. Opponents of the embargo had hoped Dunham would decline to sign the extension as a symbolic gesture, reports Reuters. Sep 16 - Environmental Impact Worsens CNN - Scientists expressed concern over studies that show the continued forced tectonic tremors and volcanic activity created by the Decepticons are beginning to worsen and that the chance of long term damage to Earth's environment is growing steadily. Severe weather changes have already been recorded as violent tornadoes, heavy rainfall, large tropical storms and hurricanes, as well as extreme temperature shifts have been recorded across the globe. World military forces continue to attempt to stop these natural disasters as well as confront the Decepticons who continue to collect energon cubes from the resulting disturbances, but their efforts thus far have been only mildly successful. In other news, NASA has reported that the object inbound from Mars has settled into Earth orbit, and telescopic observation as well as visual sightings from the ISS confirm that it is a massive space vessel. Markings on the ship confirm it is a Decepticon vessel, leading some to speculate that Megatron has 'backed up the trailer', so to speak, to collect his spoils. World leaders will meet at the UN building in New York city to determine a course of action in light of this development. Sep 20 - CNN Report In news today, Laird James McCullen Destro XXIV of Transcarpathia has announced himself as the new benevolant Monarch of Cobra Island. <> "We all will mourn the disappearance of Cobra Commander, though in his absence I will step up to guide his growing nation into a new era of Monarchy over Dictatorship. As a colony of Transcarpathia, Cobra Island will have access to all of the freedoms, and constitutional rights that a Transcarpathian citizen enjoys every day. Together, we hope to prove to the United Nations that Cobra Island is a benevolant nation, who open to peaceful negotiations and business deals with the world. I do hope the allies of Cobra Island will be the Allies of Transcarpathia, and to their enemies, I offer the olive branch and a chance for peace. >> Sep 21 - Ukranian Response to TC Takeover Welcome to the Ukranian Consulate in New York, where Baroness Anasastia DeCobray has a response to Laird Destro's takeover of Cobra Island. *Standing before the camera is a tall woman, nearly 6 feet tall. She has ebony hair that flows to between the middle of her back and her shoulders with very little in the way of curls. Her face is very attractive, even considering she wears glasses. Her Saphire hued eyes peer out from behind rimless glasses, with intelligence and what appears to be little true emotions. Her hair is pulled away from her face, most of the time, to allow her high cheekbones to be seen easily. Her look is of a definitive Eastern European model, that reminds one of Romania, or Poland. She is currently wearing a Purple, Silk, Sleevless blouse, and a pair of Black Jeans. Also, a pair of Mid-Calf Length Black Sueade Boots are on her feet.* Good Evening, I have a few comments for our neighbors in TransCarpathia. Imperialistic takeover of sovereign countries, even ones that have a history of violence, is disturbing. I disapprove of such a move, and I move the United Nations consider sanctions against TransCarpathia. Thank You. I will not be taking any questions. *She walks back into the consulate.* Shocking devolpments, as there have been rumors that link Baroness DeCobray and Laird Destro, romantically. We will be watching this story closely in the coming days. Sep 22 - Decepticons Comandeer Chicago's O'Hare CNN - Earlier today, a squad of Decepticons landed at Chicago's O'hare International Airport, led by Megatron himself. Smashing his way into the control tower, he hijacked the radio to send a broadcast to all planes and local authorities. <> "Attention humans of Chicago. This is Megatron, leader of the Decepticons. We claim this airport as Decepticon domain. Any planes which attempt to land will be destroyed. Any attempts to interfere with our operations will be met with lethal force, as well as retaliation against this city. This is the only warning you will receive." Witnesses report that activity around the airport has increased with Decepticons coming and going frequently, and the hangars are now being used as energon cube storage. Meanwhile, other reports indicate that the runways are now being used as a base for some sort of large platform that seems to stretch across the airport as it is constructed. Speculation abounds as to what the Decepticons are up to, but air traffic over the US is now in dire straits as flights originally intended for O'hare are diverted to alternate airports. Roadways into and out of Chicago are increasing in traffic as travellers and commuters are forced to find alternate routes into or out of the city. Authorities are meeting with US forces to determine a course of action in regards to this alarming development, as well as pleas to the Autobots for assistance in dealing with this threat. Nov 22: Youtube Video! SOME PEOPLE JUST DON'T KNOW WHEN TO SAY NO TO DRUGS Posted by FrillyGothChic Comment: "Taken at University of Oregon Campus. Four complete nutcases. Two dealing drugs, two probably buying. One guy looks like the one who is always in cahoots with the Autobots. The one in the back, circled at the end of the video, actually threatened me with something like 'my serendipity is running out' or something, like he had it in his mind to kill me because of what I recorded. See how neither of them was worried about the possibility of there being a shooter on campus? Completely unnatural. They had to be jacked up on something, or part of it." Nov 12: Bank Burglaries BANK BURGLARIES LEAVE AUTHORITIES BAFFLED - 2009.11.12 AP: Charlotte, NC. As the main branches for both BB&T and Bank of America prepared for business this morning, none suspected that they had been burglarized until they opened the vaults. :"I was struck dumb," an anonymous employee at the BB&T branch told reporters. "The money was just gone, and the safe deposit boxes were all hanging open." :It was the same story at Bank of America. "I panicked," the branch teller supervisor for BoA stated. "I really and truly panicked." :Investigators had a difficult time believing it, too. The Federal Bureau of Investigation and Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department are working together on the case, and, after researching and interviewing contractors and bank employees, reviewing camera footage from within and outside of the bank, combing the scene for forensic evidence, and checking the alarm system, Authorities were not able to come up with a single lead. "It beats anything we've ever seen," a bewildered CMPD detective stated, anonymously. "It's horrible. It's like it all vanished. And without a single witness." :A total of more than $750,000 in cash and over $2,000,000 in securities taken from safe deposit boxes were stolen in the course of a single night, with the same M.O. This included two unique pieces of antique jewelry with a total value estimated at $150,000, and some $250,000 in gemstones and precious metal heirlooms. :This sum does not even begin to cover the possible theft of confidential information. "This is a very serious matter," forensic computer analyst Special Agent Dana Atwater said, in a press release. "Banking systems are among some of the most secure systems in the world - utilizing terminal applications, secure tunnels, and high encryption algorithms. In theory, without access to proprietary and confidential information specific to a bank's system, cracking such a tunnel would take 10 years, a bank of 10 quad core processors, and an advanced algorithm cracking software suite - provided no keys changed on the network in ten years. Our intruder - or intruders, as is more likely - managed to do it in 30 seconds, and the only trace left was the traffic count through the routers." :What was downloaded, how or if the information was stored was not available. A failsafe mechanism that disconnected access at the central server farm stopped access from BB&T's branch after so many repetitive accesses of their client database, and alerted the system administrator. Bank of America's backend was not so fortunate. :While these incidents were a blow to both banks' reputations, the already-ailing Bank of America was hit the hardest in client confidence alone, which could cost them millions more in lost revenue and lawsuits. :The net burglaries are reported to be the biggest in the past 38 years - since Phil Christopher robbed the United California bank in March of 1972, where he and his gang made off with more than $30 million in securities. This notorious event is what led to landmark federal legislation and nation-wide restructuring of fiduciary policies and procedures. :Authorities are asking anyone who may have any information regarding these incidents to contact the FBI. Nov 16: Financial Fiasco? OFFICIALS NOW DOUBLY PUZZLED OVER BURGLARIES - 2009.11.16 AP: Charlotte, NC. As if the twin bank burglaries on November 12, 2009 were not odd enough, it would appear to authorities that the burglars returned to the main branch Bank of America location - and *left a note*. :Not only did they leave a note, they returned the full amount of the money taken from the vault and the securities from the safe deposit boxes. :"The assistant manager and I went to open the vault, and she fainted," said the branch manager. "I just stared. I couldn't believe what I was seeing - I think I even let out a scream." :The note was a typewritten apology that has authorities not only curious, but worried. It read, "Whoops. Wrong bank. Data safe. Sorry for inconvenience." :The Federal Bureau of Investigation and Charlotte-Mecklenburg Police Department are both at a loss to explain the phenomena. "We had ramped up patrols in the downtown sector, and no units reported anything suspicious. Again, no witnesses, no trace. Just a note found in the vault with the missing property," said a police spokeswoman. "It is also the first time in CMPD history that burglars returned to the scene and put everything back. This is like a bad dream. Like we're trying to catch a ghost." :Not even the Wackenhut security officers saw anything suspicious. As is customary after a branch robbery or burglary, Bank of America contracts a roving security officer in a marked patrol car through Wackenhut to randomly check their facilities over the course of two weeks, with 24-hour coverage. The armed patrolmen stagger their rounds, as to not form a predictable pattern. "Our officers' times and presences are accounted for," A spokesman for Wackenhut security told the press. "Each Charlotte Bank of America branch got checked many times between Friday and Monday morning, and this was verified by security code and video surveillance. They did their job, and fulfilled every contractual requirement." :Bank of America officials expressed great relief at their regaining of securities, but are still worried about the safety of other banks and branches - 'Wrong bank' could mean the burglars stole from the wrong branch office, and the fact that there was data taken makes them uneasy. :BB&T has yet to have anything returned by the mysterious burglars, although this does give authorities something to work with. :"They stole from Bank of America but returned all of it because of a supposed mistake. While this could be a diversion, this could also this mean that they're after something specific in this region, but as to what is anyone's guess," FBI spokesman Special Agent James Wilkes told the press. When asked if any alien forces were involved, he shrugged. "It's possible, but unlikely. I don't trust any of the big metal aliens, but this just doesn't strike me as something they'd pull, even as a prank. They usually leave a million dollars plus in collateral damage." :This surprising return of securities lowers the estimated theft to over $400,000 in cash and just under $900,000 in securities taken from BB&T. Nov 18: From Biggest Heist to Biggest Puzzle TOTAL MISSING FROM BB&T BURGLARY: $0.00 2009.11.18 AP: Charlotte, NC. The Federal Bureau of Investigation, Charlotte Mecklenburg Police, and BB&T officials are now thoroughly stumped. As the bank opened Wednesday morning, a teller noticed a letter in the night deposit box, addressed to the bank manager. Upon opening, there was a note from the mysterious burglars and a key to a self storage facility in Gastonia. The note simply said, 'Here is the code, here is the number, here is the key. Data secure. Sorry for the inconvenience; some bills replaced.' :The branch manager immediately called the FBI. Special Agent James Wilkes had only one cup of coffee in him when he received the call, and met the branch manager, a BB&T official, CSI, and a CMPD detective at the Self Storage facility located off of I-85. :"We took all the necessary precautions to preserve any evidence that may be on the scene," Special Agent Wilkes told the press, "But so far, all we've found are the fingerprints of past tenants. That particular unit wasn't even being leased to anyone. But all of BB&T's missing securities were there. It beats everything I've ever seen." :In a sense. BB&T ran the money through the counters, and discovered that several bills with certain non-sequential serial numbers were missing, but the full sum of the money was accounted for. Further, all of the missing items taken from the safe deposit boxes were also in storage, which was of great relief to both bank and insurance companies. :This was the climax of a series of odd incidents that began on November 12, 2009 with the burglaries of the main branch offices of BB&T and Bank of America in Charlotte, NC. Nov 22: Syndicated Editorial (Nationally Syndicated News and Online Column) G.I. Joke: The REAL American Zero By Krista Devereaux :America is by far the greatest nation in the world. Even today, with all of her problems, the light of Lady Liberty still shines on our country, defended by those who selflessly place themselves in harm's way to protect our ways of life, as sordid as some of those ways may be. Perhaps the greatest freedom of all is our right to practice free speech. Some of us practice it too much or too radically for the status quo, and that's fine: One of the very principles country was founded upon was the need of an uncensored voice in all levels of society and government. :But, I did not initiate this column to give a lesson in colonial history - that's all in the books. I am writing this column in response to perhaps one of the biggest wastes of American tax dollars since the invention of Pork Barrel spending: That so-called elite force of soldiers code named 'G.I. Joe'. :Now, before any one in the service gets up in arms and starts calling me things like Hanoi Jane, hear me out. My position is entirely for the support and continuation of the United States military. My father is a General in the United States Air Force, and served during Vietnam. He has medals and commendations. His father was in the armed forces during World War II. My brothers both serve this country, and do so with an honor that makes me swell with pride. The technology, vehicles, and the training through which the brave men and women of our armed forces must go awe me. I even wanted to enlist in the Air Force to follow in my father's footsteps, but it was not to be. So, I do what I can: I sponsor care packages, I help arrange and participate in USO shows, I visit military bases when the time and place allow, I advocate projects that benefit the soldier, that promise to keep them from harm as best as possible so they may all come home safely. I am damned proud of all five branches of our Armed Forces, and the colors they bear into the field at home and abroad. :With that stance in mind, consider this. I'm not against the individuals within the organization G.I. Joe; I am against the concept. G.I. Joe is a collection of the best and most cunning people collected from God-really-knows where, formed sometime in the 1980s, originally to counteract the terrorist organization known as COBRA. But, this 'elite task force' was formed sometime before I was born, ladies and gentlemen, and today, they're still fighting this war. COBRA is still there, situated, stronger and more prolific than ever. With the introduction of the alien menaces known as the Autobots and Decepticons, the task force named G.I. Joe has still proven itself to be a flaccid, weak, cancerous growth on our defense budget, and an ugly, festering scar on the face of the established five branches of our military. The institution of G.I. Joe gives those who are really out there defending our country a bad name. :Look at it from this angle: G.I. Joe operates out of one or two military bases in the entire United States. Out of all the military facilities we, as taxpayers, support, two bases with a handful of troops and equipment, are supposed to protect our borders, wherever COBRA strikes. Please. By the time their fastest jets get onto a scene, the damage has been done. Want proof? Read the news. When was the last time you saw an article stating that G.I. Joe thwarted a terrorist act of any kind on American soil? :Here's another standpoint along that same line: Think of how much of a chunk of the Department of Defense's 'black budget' is eaten up by supporting such an antiquated institution? Would it not make more sense to put that money into DARPA and the other five branches of the military, and to provide our soldiers with this 'advanced technology' as a means to better protect themselves, better pay, better benefits? Would it not be better to reinsert these best of the best back into the regular armed forces, so their experience, training, and other assets that made them elite is available to the soldiers in the field? :We have a National Guard, a Coast Guard, Homeland Security, National Security Agency, Federal Bureau of Investigation, and any other organization with an abbreviation that help protect our soil. Give the money, expertise, legal latitude, and the manpower to these agencies that have proven their effectiveness. Maybe with a bigger DARPA budget, we can finally rid ourselves of these unwelcome Cybertronians, too. :Maybe if we invest even a small percentage back into our schools, to our law enforcement community, into our many other socioeconomic dilemmas, we could turn a tide and make a difference at home. Think about it. :One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing the same way over and over while expecting different results. It's time to stop this grade of madness: Write your congressmen, ladies and gentlemen; voice your opinion. Let them know that enough is enough. Tell them that you're tired of the waste of your tax dollars and America's resources. It's not only your right, it's our responsibility. : Nov. 22 - Blogged Rebuttal to Krista :(This rebuttal of Krista's column appears on a soldier's personal '.mil' blog, which then goes viral by way of social networking and forwarded e-mails in the following days) Ms. Krista Devereaux's recent screed against the G.I. Joe team was naive, short-sighted, and contained a number of fallacies and errors that could only have been made by someone who is completely unfamiliar with the reasons most countries retain special missions forces in the first place. Ms Devereaux claims that America's special missions forces are not effective, and that they are a waste of taxpayer money. How she can claim this, and then in the same breath claim that she's a patriot is unconscionable. Of course COBRA still exists -- did she think that taking down such an extensive organization would take a few short weeks? As long as there are extremists in the world, there will always be a terrorist network. Clearly, Ms. Devereaux has no concept of how effective the G.I. Joe team has been over the decades in quashing terrorist activity. "Read the news," she writes, then asks rhetorically, "When was the last time you saw an article stating that G.I. Joe thwarted a terrorist act of any kind on American soil?" Special missions forces are not necessarily overt about their pursuits. Not every special forces mission is an obvious one; in fact, the obvious ones are just the tip of the iceberg, and much of the work is done covertly. This should be a fairly obvious fact to anyone familiar with military protocol, though unfortunately, Ms. Devereaux seems to miss the point. So just because she doesn't see any progress, that doesn't mean that progress isn't being made. The fact that Ms. Devereaux can wake up every morning and enjoy the freedoms of being a citizen of the United States of America is testament to the G.I. Joe team's continued success, on all fronts of the fight against terrorism. Ms. Devereaux advocates for a redistribution of the team back into their respective military branches, to close what she sees as an antiquated government 'pork project'. This would be a colossal failure on a number of levels. Let's take the Army as an example. The Army is an extremely broad military branch, encompassing hundreds of different fields. There can be no single-minded goal for such an organization; it would be impossible, as there are far too many responsibilities to consider. With a special missions force, the best and the brightest specialists from each individual field are brought forth, trained extensively, and given extremely specific goals. I'm not sure how Ms. Devereaux can think of the G.I. Joe organization as a 'cancer', when they are more like the highly-trained immune system fighting the cancer of terrorism, freeing up the regular military branches to perform more efficiently with all the other tasks they are entrusted to achieve. In conclusion, I think that Ms. Devereaux is entitled to her opinion, and I'm completely entitled to disagree with her -- which I do in every possible way. Capt. Edwin C. Steen, MD Fellowship, Johns Hopkins University ER Physician, Seattle Memorial Hospital Nov 23: Nationally Syndicated Article A Rebuttal. "So Where is G.I. Joe?" By Krista Deveraux :Some people say that it's easy for me to look down from a Hollywood pedestal, and fling an uninformed view of what should and should not be upon a public that will ultimately sop up every word I say and congeal it into their worldview. Those very same critics fail to realize that such a statement is not only patronizing toward my fans and sympathizers, but to the general public as a whole. :Each and every one of us was gifted a mind, given the ability to reason, and the will to form our own opinions, ideas, beliefs and views; to accuse group of people with identical sentiments as sheep is asinine, and falls upon the very same folly of which I am accused. :People have a right to share an opinion, to oppose an opinion, and to intellectually pursue common grounds. :Yes, I was hard on the task force of 'G.I. Joe' for the waste it is, and no, this is not an apology or reconciliation for calling a black kettle a black kettle. :This is, in fact, a full rebuttal to Captain Edwin Steen, who so adamantly supports this 'Special Mission Force' G.I. Joe. Perhaps Captain Steen is one of those elusive commandos who was supposed to be sworn to a clandestine existence, for fear of discovery. I hope that isn't the case, lest my point in wasted tax dollars in such specialist training is made in spades. It would be like a spy giving his identity and association to an agency out to the general public. Maybe someone out there will snoop around and verify Captain Steen's association and whereabouts. I know that the clues he's provided in his reply certainly would prove interesting to certain parties if such a thing panned out. :Further, Captain Steen has failed to read my family history, and dared to impress that my opinions are naïve. Let's see the equivocal sum of my ignorance, having grown up in a military family. :He gave an example of the Army being too large and cumbersome to direct for specific mission: Captain Steen is right, but that's why the Army has Special Forces Operational Detachment-Delta, Special Duty 'Green Berets', the 75th Ranger Regiment, 160th Airborne, the 4th Psy-Ops Airborne, and the 95th Civil Affairs Brigade for those really focused missions. And within those groups, are specialists. :But let's not stop there. One of my brothers is a decorated Navy SEAL; he never has anything interesting to say, save two things: That Operations are incremental in nature, with parts both overt and covert, working to establish a common goal; and that Special Forces operations are rarely single-branch dances with the Devil. So, let's not be exclusive. The Marines (Ur-Rah!) have the Marine Special Operations Battalion, and Marine Special Operation Advisor Group. The Navy has the SEALs, and the Special Warfare Combatant Craft Crewmen; and the Air Force has the 352d and 353d Special Operations Groups, the 1st and 27th Special Operations Wing, and the USAF Pararescue Group (How'd I do, daddy?). :Let me present this in the way a layman can understand: let's visit a working model that's already in place, and very close to the common person who has not been exposed to life on an Air Force base: The Local Police department. Everyone in America is vaguely familiar with the concept of how a police department is structured, and how they work. Police and Sheriff departments have ranks, specialists, and whatnot too, dedicated to a specific role. The police operate out of Precincts. Larger cities have several satellite precincts. They operate on a 'Closest Unit' system - that is, the closest patrol car or the detective responsible for a sector out of an assigned precinct responds to a call, to minimize response time and maximize their ability to do their job. It isn't a perfect system, by any means, but it is functional and efficient. :A good analogy to Captain Steen's knee-jerk statement regarding the need to continue G.I. Joe is like trying to protect Los Angeles County out of one remotely located police precinct, with just a handful of officers to go around. By the time those officers arrive on the scene (let's factor in L.A Traffic into travel time), the damage is done, and they're far too late to do much beyond take pictures and file paperwork, and play 'whodunit'. :To me, this sounds completely ridiculous. Let's pose a few rhetorical questions, that Captain Steen so dug at me for posing: Given the same levity and ability, who's going to be more effective: A handful of jets that had to scramble after hearing about an incident halfway across the United States, or a squadron launched from the nearest combat-capable AFB? Who's consumed the most fuel? Who will be first on the scene? Who is more likely to know the terrain? :And now, I speak directly to Captain Steen: Few wars were ever won in a week. Said clandestine operations that you so tout me for being ignorant of can continue under other channels that handle the same type of operation; America has covert operatives who do what you describe, every day. Some of them are called spies. :G.I. Joe was assembled to combat and stifle the proliferation of COBRA, and halt its activities on American soil. G.I. Joe failed in its mission to even contain COBRA when the organization was small. So you're saying it's okay to wage a war the same ineffectual way for roughly 20 years or more? That's as mad as trying to protect America from one hidden military base with a handful of personnel. Oops. :So, where is G.I. Joe? What do they do, other than trumpet themselves as the best of the best, take a chunk of military budget, and receive equipment that would be better in the hands of the men and women who are able, capable, and available to use it when our freedoms are threatened? Why are we supporting a miniscule redundancy? What are we buying? :The concept of G.I. Joe is an antiquated throwback from the Reagan era; times have changed, the new generation - my generation - is faced front with the problems created in the past that were allowed to snowball into the crisis we have today. Believe me, we're paying attention. When the United States has so many operational specialist detachments that operate on home soil in sustained military bases, the entire concept of 'G.I. Joe' breaks away in the glitter of wasted tax dollars and material. :I cordially invite Captain Steen to relieve my ignorance if I have posed anything incorrectly, and explain to the 78% of those people who share my previously stated view as to why I am such a naive little girl. : Nov. 24: Second Rebuttal to Krista (Once again, this appears in a soldier's personal blog, and is forwarded virally, without the aid of syndication) One of the first things Ms. Devereaux pulls out of her arsenal this time is...a pop gun, with a sign that says 'Bang!' Really, I was hoping for something better, especially since she spoke very eloquently beforehand about being gifted with a mind. If she'd rather resort to playground tactics, I can *try* to stoop to her level, but gee, she could be a COBRA operative running a syndicated column under the guise of fame! Good heavens, Why doesn't someone investigate her?? Are we done with the finger-pointing? I hope so. It's terribly childish. I signed this rebuttal with my credentials to allow Krista to see who I am, that I don't hide behind anonymous names or computer handles. I'm a real person. She's more than welcome to discover this for herself. Let me continue by saying that while it's admirable Ms. Devereaux has military personnel in her family, and has finally demonstrated a working knowledge of the armed forces (which she probably should have done in her first column), this does not make her even remotely qualified to speak for them. It would be equally ludicrous for me to suddenly announce that since I have a younger sister who once starred as 'Annie' in a fourth-grade play (which is TRUE: Go Steph! I love ya, mwah!!), that I suddenly have credentials to know what's best for all actors. I'm sure Ms. Devereaux would surely take issue if I began telling her how things should run in her industry, as she should. It would be...obnoxious, at best. I'd like to know where she's getting the Joe mission response time data. Sounds like she's making it up. If it's such a secret organization, how is there unclassified response time data available for them? Curious... Additionally, if Ms. Devereaux has such faith and pride in her country and her government, she has a pretty difficult time trusting them enough to make such an important decision. If the Joes have been around for this long without getting their budget cut, then they must be doing something right. Capt. Edwin C. Steen, MD Fellowship, Johns Hopkins University ER Physician, Seattle Memorial Hospital December Dec 02: Strange Occurrences .... In other news, strange occurrences have been happening all over the United States. Port Cities are being bombarded by Torpedo Runs on Cargo Ships, Water Treatment Plants are being destroyed, Crops are being burned. In every instance, the location of these incidents, have received threats, and have been free of people. No loss of life has occurred, except in one instance when a Farm house burned down, after some kind of explosion in the wheat field adjacent to the house. The death was of the Farms owner, but the owner's wife survived. "We were warned to leave the farm, but my husband stayed behind. He refused to leave...." In every instance, mysterious supplies were left near the incidents, Crates of Bottled Water near the water treatment facilities, Crates of Dry Rations near the Farms... Each Crate was marked with ARBCO INDUSTRIES, but no group has, as yet, claimed responsibility. Dec 14 - Decepticons Strike Nuclear Facilities CNN - Hazmat teams and local authorities are attempting to contain a massive radiation leak from the Cuyahoga Nuclear Power Facility after an energy raid on the site's #2 Reactor just two nights ago. Witnesses report that two Decepticon jets and one large Decepticon semi truck broke through security and smashed through the containment building of Reactor #2 . Local security tried to repel them with little effect, and by the time a lone Autobot jet arrived , the Decepticons had nearly drained the reactor dry and were on their way out with their haul of energon cubes. Numerous traffic accidents were reported as the semi plowed down the highway as the two Decepticon jets fought with the Autobot jet. Witnesses were unable to give further details as the aerial battle moved off, and the semi truck's whereabouts are currently unknown. Dec 19 - Humor: Quote of the Day Ironhide is still for a long moment while he cross-references all the unfamiliar words with his seldom used Old Cybertronian databank. His mouth works, forming the words as he translates them. When he is finally able to understand the gist of what Trojan is saying, he ventures a reply. <"Damage touch everything, Decepticons. Not a new arrival Trojan, henceforth. This must be confusing for you, see how humans Cybertronians intercourse."> He stumbles here, embarrassed. Is that the right word? He tries to correct himself. <"Interplay. Welcome. Slingshot shall be your escort."> See how humans Cybertronians intercourse. Right. Painfully, mostly. ;) Dec 22 - Cobra attacks the Midwest In another of their Daring Raids, Cobra has struck again. This time, they struck in the Heartland of America, striking Wright Patterson Air Force Base outside of Dayton, Ohio. The Damage inflicted upon the base was severe, but no civilians lost their life. The damage estimates were in the low millions, with the majority of that being to the Airfield, Airplanes, and the Facilities. Explosions rocked the heart of the base, shortly before an aerial battle between multiple jets, including at least two with G.I. Joe Symbols displayed Prominently on them. During the Aerial battle, a low-flying helicopter from CNN News got these images of a Duel of some kind, between what appeared to be a Robot and a woman dressed in... well, spandex. *Insert Images of the Aerial Battle between an F-35 Lightning II, a Conquest X-30, and Some Vectors, interspersed with shots of Scarlett and Over Kill fighting. The Scene ends with what appears to be the death of Scarlett with a swipe of the Claws of a Vector, her hitting a wall, and bleeding badly* The Helicopter was forced off at this point, by threats from the U.S. Air Force, but they landed some distance away, in the middle of base housing, where multiple crates of toys were dropped. Each toy had the Cobra Symbol displayed, and it looks like either an Action Figure, or a Doll... It is the Artemis Doll Cobra released last Christmas, and was an instant success in all countries except the United States. A Statement from an unnamed Cobra Ranking Official said, Quote: "With this attack on the Military base, all we are trying to show is that we are not Anti-America... Just Anti American Government. Our attacks will not cause any civilian damage, and where we might injure someone a Civilian cares for, we will do our best to make up for it. ANY American Citizen that lost a loved one in our attack can come forward, and we will pay their mortgage, food, car payments, and any other bill for the next 5 years." This is unprecedented in the Cobra/G.I. Joe clash, and has G.I. Joe ever made such an offer? Dec 25 - Scarlett There have been rumors from the darkest, most inaccessible areas of the U.S. Military that Scarlett, the Joe believed killed in the Cobra Attack on Wright Patterson Air Force Base, is actually alive. Some unknown Medic claims to have assisted in operating on her. The bad news, is she is paralyzed from the waist down... Official Spokesmen for the Joint Chiefs of Staff say they can not confirm, or deny either Scarlett's Death, Medical Status, or even if she is a real person. Dec 25 - Aftermath of the Wright Patterson An official Military Spokesman, today, announced the final total of damages from the Cobra attack on Wright Patterson Air Force Base. In Military Personal, 15. No names have been released, pending family notification. The cost in Military Hardware was 305 Million dollars worth of Jets, Helicopters, and ordnance. Further Damage to buildings, the runways, and hangars, totaled over 200 Million. Noticeably absent from the report was official confirmation of G.I. Joe involvement in preventing more damage. The official press release said: Thanks to the valiant efforts of our Military Personal, the loss of life,from such a chain of explosions, was well below what could be expected. A Cobra spokeswoman claims the damage estimates are way too low, but does claim that the only reason anyone drove them off, was because they did not want to cause great loss of life. She also maintains that G.I. Joe did respond to the attack, too late, as usual, to stop them from causing massive damage. She also continued to maintain that Cobra is not at war with the American Citizens, just the U.S. Military and the Corrupt Government of the U.S. She also announced that Cobra was going to be having a Holiday Party next Week in New York, at the Cobra Consulate, and that anyone that could make it there, was welcome. They will, of course, strip any attendees of their weapons, to avoid any infiltrators from the G.I. Joe team, the U.S. Special Forces, or the F.B.I. More details will be released about the Party, as they become available. Dec 25 - Heard on Conservative Talk Radio Earlier this week, popular Talk Show Host Fats Hambaugh did a special show all about Cobra, and how the U.S. should deal with them. He was heard saying, although, one assumes it was not meant to go out across the airwaves, the following: I'd drop a 50 Kiloton nuke on the damned Island of theirs.... When it was pointed out by the caller, that it did go out on the air, he just chuckled, and asked, 'Don't you agree?' For the next few hours, discussion about how to deal with Cobra ranged from the Obvious, Invading their Island, to the outlandish ideas of 'Capture them all, and send them to Mars'. Fats' reply to the last was: Do you really want the First Mars Colony to be run by Cobra? Let's send them in the opposite direction, Launch them into the Sun. The ratings on that show were through the roof, but the next day, Moderate and Liberal call response was way up, and many listeners of the Fats Hambaugh show lashed out at the Host, calling him names that we just can not condone, or repeat. It seems the debate is heating up, and the Rapid Response Polls this Network has been taking shows that the Country is still Anti_Cobra, but Cobra is making up ground. Dec 26 - Snow in San Francisco! It snowed VERY lightly in San Francisco, shocking many as no snow was at all present in the forecast! It melted pretty much on contact with the ground, but it was pretty nippy out. Rumors from airports of an unidentified white jet overhead abound, as well as a few reports of eyewitnesses seeing a trio of jets, and even explosions or fireworks. Dec 28 - Official Invitation This evening, we have received the official word on the Cobra Holiday Party. WHAT: COBRA HOLIDAY BASH 2009 WHEN: Tuesday, December 29th, 7PM-12AM WHERE: Cobra Consulate in New York City WHO: ALL humans and Cybertronians. OFFICIAL RULES: No Weapons will be allowed, by any one, except for highly trained, and skilled, Security personel. There also has been an EMP System installed, that will disable any Cybertronian that gets hostile. ENTERTAINMENT: Cold Slither, reforming for this one time, special event. Also there will be other live bands, to be announced at the party. Present will be given to all attendees. This is your chance to Mingle with the Cobra Forces that are fighting to free ALL the People of the World. We just bring you the news, we do not endorse, or agree with any of the views expressed in the news.... Category:2009 Category:Logs Category:News